“It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws.” 
Phoebe Buffay - the ultimate Ross/Rachel ‘shipper

Tagged as: #text post

heatherbat:

smalltownbigguy:

in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful. 

the more mind-obliteratingly stupid we find you, the more descriptive we get. “bless your precious, sweet, mama-loving heart” means we’re not 100% certain how you possess enough intelligence to draw breath.